hi nancy, you dont know me but my gf showed me your substack a few weeks ago and ive really been enjoying these posts!
i feel like i can relate to this one very heavily bc it sounds like we have had a very similar upbringing. and almost as long as i can remember ive been staring down the barrel of “the game” of life and i have always hated it because of how bleak and soulless it seemed to spend the rest of your life on the grind.
the past 8 or 9 years have been a near constant struggle of looking for answers and alternative paths, doing mental gymnastics around reconciling the game with my own happiness and fulfillment, but at the end of the day im not sure if all this turmoil and existential crisis has really gotten me anywhere. obama wrote that his mom had “intellectual freedom at the cost of financial stability” or something like that, and at this point in life im wondering if the struggle against the system is worth it and maybe life is just better/happier/more peaceful on the other side of the game.
its interesting bc i see friends who see no problem with this game, or dont mind playing it, or some who thoroughly enjoy being a part of it and it blows my mind. but at some level i feel jealous of them, to be built for this world and just be happy playing along, because it sucks to be one of the seemingly few who feels so fundamentally misplaced here.
im not sure where exactly i was going with this, i just felt like i should share because people outside the bubble are rare but definitely not alone. anyway keep up the good work lol
hi nancy, you dont know me but my gf showed me your substack a few weeks ago and ive really been enjoying these posts!
i feel like i can relate to this one very heavily bc it sounds like we have had a very similar upbringing. and almost as long as i can remember ive been staring down the barrel of “the game” of life and i have always hated it because of how bleak and soulless it seemed to spend the rest of your life on the grind.
the past 8 or 9 years have been a near constant struggle of looking for answers and alternative paths, doing mental gymnastics around reconciling the game with my own happiness and fulfillment, but at the end of the day im not sure if all this turmoil and existential crisis has really gotten me anywhere. obama wrote that his mom had “intellectual freedom at the cost of financial stability” or something like that, and at this point in life im wondering if the struggle against the system is worth it and maybe life is just better/happier/more peaceful on the other side of the game.
its interesting bc i see friends who see no problem with this game, or dont mind playing it, or some who thoroughly enjoy being a part of it and it blows my mind. but at some level i feel jealous of them, to be built for this world and just be happy playing along, because it sucks to be one of the seemingly few who feels so fundamentally misplaced here.
im not sure where exactly i was going with this, i just felt like i should share because people outside the bubble are rare but definitely not alone. anyway keep up the good work lol
"i thought i was looking out at the world when in fact the world was looking in at mine." and finally feeling validated when I found reboot <3