i like it when things are next to each other.
i like living by a park, trader joes, gym, and bus stop. i like it when my time blocks on my google calendar are right next to each other, when my schedule is compact but there's just enough time to transition from one state to the other in between. i like it when my passwords are right next to my cursor when I input my email. i like it when my most used apps are close to my thumb on my home screen.
i like it when the transition time to get from one point to another is at its very minimum. i like it when i don't have to walk too far to run an errand, when i don't have to have a car to get somewhere i need to, when i schedule meetups on the way or not too out of the way for someone else.
i like cutting transition time to put the rest of the time to spend with things i love.
but there's merit in those breathing moments, in those periods of transition that aren’t planned. in those long plane rides, long walks that trail longer than expected, in the off-trails and tangents that might lead somewhere.
i used to find myself crying on plane rides when spending an extended amount of time in introspection, when i realize how insignificant i am relative to the world from seeing it so high up. when i realize that no matter where i am in the world i'm not that far from any of my friends in other cities – some few hours plane. but it could be weeks or months before we see each other again because of this distance. i feel so close to my close friends but we are rarely close in proximity. when i add up the hours we spend, it doesn't total that many, but its in those hours that i cherish and rewind in my head for so many more hours.
when thinking about where i want to go after graduation and live, i consider my community first. i want to go where the people i want to spend time with are, but they want to go where they want to spend time with are and i feel like the roads will always lead to either new york city or the bay area. it's odd because i feel like the only reason i'm in pittsburgh is for school, and the times i spent here have taken away from the time i could've spent more with my family or close friends in the bay or nyc and that's where i'll probably end up afterward. i wonder if it was worth it to go to school in pittsburgh and try it out here if i know it's just a liminal space for inevitably ending up somewhere else.
i'm spending a great amount of time on the road this next month, going to oregon, chicago, back home to the bay, canada, and austin for the first time and i think it'll be really interesting seeing these new cities and seeing whether they’ll be somewhere else i could feel like home.
I've consistently cried on every plane ride for the past two years. I tell myself it's the altitude. Truthfully, I love the quiet and introspection, especially being able to disconnect from the buzz around me.