every tech ceo

i'm more important because i have more money than you

when i was 5 i built a treehouse in my backyard. when i was 10 i built a 3d printer. when i was 13 i flew a hot air balloon. i dropped out of college after a month to found my company. i always knew i would be a founder.

these days, i donate to charity and help the world get access to clean water. i'm helping humanity live on mars. most people sit around and don't do anything. they're not like me, they don't have money. they don't know any better.

they don't realize what a ruin this country is in, how much money is wasted going to random grants and bills. old people don't know what they're doing. they've been on this planet so long their brains are rotting. i know way better because i've been here for less time. my brain is still fresh.

every day my team cuts some more funding. it's amazing. we're helping this country by getting all our money back to ourselves.

my homie andrew carnegie would be proud. he wrote that book, the gospel of wealth. he donated all his money towards the end of his life. he's based. he worked his factory workers so he could get more money so he could help the world more. people who don't learn to hack the system like us are just losers. they haven't figured out how so they just work for us.

its amazing how easy it is to get people to work for me. they're like dogs. i give them dinner and they stay in the office the whole day. all i have to do is pay them a salary, give them health insurance, sometimes a visa, and they'll stay for the rest of their life.

humans are so fragile. they're so easy to control. most of the time they just bicker at each other online. i don't even have to do anything to protect myself. all the people who love me just battle the ones that hate me.

for some reason the smartest people fight with each other to be my guinea pigs to send to space. i always thought we should send the dumbest people to sacrifice as lab experiments, but whatever. less competition for me. also it's nice that our military is never short of people. whoever designed our system is a genius.

anyways, my son is doing well now. he's already learned how to build a treehouse, at age 3! two years earlier than i did. i'm excited to see where he goes. i'm going to start sending him to chinese classes soon. in case the power ever turns in the future, he'll be ready.